ARGHHH! Need to get that off my chest. Was pouring my herat out into this cnut sucking blog when i try to publish it what happens? It falls apart. everything which i typed for half an hour gets deleted. Screwed up lah. bet it has soemthign to do with the new template. I dunno what nuts about blogs and templates and shit. And i dont intend to learn. Wah lao. Kay i have cooled down. Now time to type again. Wow. This really sucks.
Lets start with everythingi have missed out on. Friday went skating iwth zenn. Not really. was very sick so i just sat down and helped zenn take pictures of himslef. haha. Saturday was a good day for me. Really in a happy mood. Staretd the day with piano exam. Good to get it over with and out of my chest. After which i loitered around white sands library reading books on theatre. mind blowing. Really got lost in the books. I borrowed two. When i went home i wrote a bit more of my book. Read a few books myself. Listened to music. Everythign was just so perfect. Yes. Sunday was flipside. haha. coudl feel my insides rotting. Stupid TV. Was on for the whole day. Stupidifying. Eyes and brains were retarding. Got really sick towards the end. So i ended the night by finshing my maths homework. Monday was good. I ciaoed scouts camp for soem bio thingy in dunman sec. Met linus, bet i left a bit too eraly. Passed time by writing lyrics for our band. haha. tahst funny. our band. Has no fixed members, no fixed positions, and we haev had no jammings essions ever. But we still call ourselves a band. Only claim to credibility is that we write lyrics. So in Dunman sec i met Ikmal. Met alot of otehr shcool peopel there. was fun. Th chai chee peopel were nice. So was this damai girl, this ping yi girl and this victoria guy. Alright. I think i did really well with the lab. was teh only guy in the whole row(there was two rows in the whole of the workshop by the way) to get a clump of brocoli DNA you could pick up. And i answered alot of the quetsions asked. After it ended we helped clean up. What can I sya. We are such gentleman. Though i doubt my fellow schoolmates would have doen it unless i did. Anway, Don, Ashley, Clarence, Eng Tai, Linus and myslef went to have lunch on KFC at the CPF building. We then went to Challenger. There was these two australians there who spotted me and approacd me, to use my student card. They wantd to buy this CD there but need my student crad for a discount. Iw as very cool about it. they were extremly large and jovial. Joking with everyone form the store assistant to the cashier to the people standing behind them in the queue. One was a SIA pilot whiel the other was a proffesor at Curtin Uni, Austarlia. Or somethign to that effect. Went home. Called Mr Chew. The enxt day, I was to go to Scouts camp.
The camp itself started on monday. Hmphhh. Its a matter of principles. No consent form. No formal informing me of the camp. Dont presume I am going to come. But i had to come on tuesday of course. tahtw as my day for cooking. which i did a exrremly good job at i beleive. At least a better job then David and thedore. Left early. Too early to get my advanced scout standard. Mr chew said he wont give it to me, if i left before the ceremony. Sigh.
I wanted to shwo i didnt care about the badge. I want to detatch myslef from scouts. I think im doing a good job. Theodore and Mr Chew are noticing. Mr chew is already unhappy with me as it is. The sce 4 registration with TSSA, the past pioneering training, not turning up on the first day, and my mom calling to say she would be picking me up early to go on holiday. It was actually a matter of two hours. It was not a big deal. When i told my mom about it she was scolding me for not waiting two more hours. There was no rush to go off. There woudl be no loss if i stayed back another two hours. But iwas stubbon. I wanted to prove a point. So i left just befor teh ceremony. I didnt get my advanced. Feel the pinch. before i left i told mr chew i would get my first class. i dont need my advanced. But can i really get it. Darn. It means more commitment. More scouts. And one more major obstacle. The pioneering project. Crap. A matter of priorities. Do i give it up, or work for it and risk losing out on studies. Its my swan song, this year. No room my errors.
The more i push away from scouts the more i fall into drama and prefects. But thats not a bad thing. i like it. Its what i want to do. Its what i love as compared to scouts. Scouts aint a source of revenue, aint a passion aitn a hobby an interest, or anythign other thena cca for that matter. "Its just a CCA" I quote Han Wei. Had a chat with bryan C last night. Was good for me. Helped me feel better about myself. Feel myslef developing more and more maturely. Stronger sense of identity. Stronger views. More independent ideas. More rebellion away from peer pressure and doing what i think is better. It feels alot mor emature. Stronger values. Stronger stands and views. I am becoming a better person i feel. For oen i dont let any rumours influence my views on people. And i realise i am making alot more firends then i had in the past. Also i care less and less of what people think of me. as long as i am pleased with myself. To an extent that is all i need. Corey whom i might have had a bad reputation about in the past now strikes me as a rathernice guy. I choose not to be influenced by anthign otehr then intelligent and logical reasoning. Tonight i am meeting Vicnan'nna for maths tuition. Its these small little steps are gonna make a differnece. I'm changing. And its gonna be for teh better. You will see. Just you wait.
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