i have been pronounced 'number 2' in tic tac toe, by brandon, teh self proclaimed number one. haha. and i didnt even win him. i simply countered all his attacks. ahha. whatever lah. tic tac toe isnt a stimulating enough test of mental intellect. An interdisciplinary quiz however is. ahha. im going with bryan C, jeremy and (still pending) marc. haha. it should be good. we would knock them dead. haha. You have the top five in english. the top five in humanes. and uhm.... MARC! yay. haha. thats good enough. but it does leaave me to question. does someone so filled with examination and textbook knowledge have space left for trivial know-how? haha. whatever. No doubt we will rock them. Nicholas gn warned me again not to get too involved in these activites. sigh. i really shoudl listen to him.
english i did badly. 23/30 fer essay. no comment. sigh. a doom of my own making. im good at that. haha. self-destruction. volleyball is tougher than it looks by the way. haha.
Ivan talked about my new hairstyle today. haha. then ben ow started protecting me and saying how people who comb centre-parting have only one hair style to choose from, and ig ot lost somewhere in between. ahah. Marc wont be coming to school for the next few years. DAYS i mean, sorry days. hmmm. i can always press backspace now and earse that... i dunno why i choose not to. haha. freedom of choice. im a liberal at heart. what can i say. plus a journla is meant to be open and revealing. so now i reveal the typo side of myself.... haha. riite. Anyways so marc will have golf fer teh enxt few days leavin me with attendance duties. sigh.
Sometime earlier this year there was a prefect general meeting so ben ow started goign arounf asking who cant amke it and made them record tehri names down and their reason. kyle's reason was celebration of life. I was so inspired at that moment. I was like: "wow. this is one guy i respect. he knows how to live life. he knows how to have fun. he has a law of his own. and he's not afraid to show it. this is what freedom is really all about." haha. it was only later that day i discovered celebration of life was a school organised event for the catholic boys. hahaha. anyways since that day i have always loved the phrase celebration of life. yes.... sweetness....
Now let me set one thing straight. I am Rishik Menon. I am a fifteen year old boy. I go to an all boys school. I have many friends (male and female) from all over singapore. Many of whom are of teh same age group as me. Many of whom have suffered heartbreak like me. Many of whom, refuse to learn from their mistakes.
And my point is this. We are all adolscents. we all young. And ME. I am young. i am stll fighting my inner demons. My values and my morales arnt fully formed and cast into stone yet. i am not yet a fully stable amture young adult capable of handling relationships. I dont know anything about love. i dont know anything about real life per say. whoa m i to judge or make claims right now. no one. and at that, i shall remain and mantain that i do not have any more-special-than-normal- feelings for anyone. because i dont know what is love. This is not to say i dont beleive in love, mind you. I do. but love to me is like god. I beleive they exist. This is not to say i know what and who exactly love or god is. so, i dunno. maybe im running. maybe im not ready. maybe im lying to myself. That is what i have chosen. its a sucky decision on my part. which is exactly why i need more time to think and see.
Plus, i like the idea of the more time you invest into a relationship and the more you work on it to progress the better it will be. haha. and that is what i leave my hope in. haha. yes. that is all i have to say i guess. sigh. all this talk out of one song i wrote. maybe i better tell the story of the song first.
This picture was drawn in tamil class. i was day dreaming and i stared sketching as usual. and for no apparent reason i decided to draw 'her'. i dont know who 'she' is. ive never seen her. BUt i knew what she looked like. i knew how she felt. her life sucked. it was horrible. she had commited suicide. and now i had to pay patronage to her. and i had to redeem her. make thinsg better for her. so i drew her. after that,i decided that i wanted to do more. so i picked up my pen and wrote the first line "she is beauty written in imperfection." genius. i loved the line. it was gonna be a song. i was gonna write it. haha. i smiled as i put away the paper and that was the end of it. At night i tried writing i couldnt. i wasnt in the spirit. In tamil class i tried completing it i couldnt. i got cuaght. i kinda gave up after trying a little and expereincing writer's block. so it was reduced to another half baked plans of mine. sigh. so sad. then came the night of pesa. that night, everything was perfect. it was sooo... unbeleivaly great. and that night i went home and i started and finshed the song. so that's the story. maybe my mind is subconsiously thinking of a girl, but i wouldnt be sure. oh wells.
No comments:
Post a Comment