she will scream...

hmmmm. today iw as scarred. ill tell you about it all inawhile. im gonna shower now... bleah.



soooo, school started as per normal. haha. no wait, it didnt. haha. dam. how stupid is that. i totally forgot that kyle wasnt goignt o school today. thoguh he must have said so at least a thoudand times yesterday. hmmm. perhaps i shoudl start with yesterday. hahas. i woke up int he morning telling myself, i was gonna go to school and come back home. haha. uhm.... suuure.... thats why i brought the cd didnt i. i dunno. maybe subconsiously i already planned it out. ahha. in the words of nadia: "loser." haha. now where was I? oh yeah. school yesterday wasa bitch. I didnt bring my englsih file and my chem homework. well, i didnt do my chem homework so that worked out. hahah. for the record i passed both up today, along with add maths homework which was due today. haha. i had to stay bakc after shcool with PJ and jeremy to finish it. but thats another story. anyways so thursday morning rishik menon asked kyle, selvam and marc about the PESA thingy. rishik asked alot of people about it. he asked tehdore, ben mao, ben ow, bryan cheang, mdm sim and many many many more people about it. rishik menon was annoying on thursday. haha. well no iw asnt. i was my good ol fun self. so as you figured i left my sec threes in the lurch for their blazer measurememts (their big boys, theyc an do it themselves) and i tookt he bus down for the pesa with ben mao, alfred and ben ow. haha. no idea what happened to justin g. and dominic. oh well. so we went to ymca and met marky and co. at macs. yay. he apparently finished his prepared speech so that was done. anyways we went back in to watch the rest and blah blah blah. was actually pretty cool. michelle, nadia and jas came half way. so basically we were just watching and having a good time and eating and stuff. at the end of it all marc won top 5. haha.yay. i was mentioned in the impromptu speech. and i swear he was good in spite of that. haha. so i met cheyenne and neeta. haha. they were cool.cheyenne incidentally is the name of teh tribe my scouts are modelled after. supposedly. haha. anyways where was I? oh tahts right. so dora so on so forth and the st pats gang and the south east cdc gang and the kc prefect gang and anyone else i missed out gang all went to ps for dinner at long john silver. or so they say. haha. ended up eating at BK. either way i like. i like the pies from both shops. and both ARE my prefered fast food stalls. alrights. and i went home woth no Cd in my bag. big surprise there. haha.



here is the shitty part. i got no handphone. it was in the dam repair shop. and apparently even they say its a gone case. sighs. anyways the whoel point is that now my parents cant contact me. so i got home at 8.10. oh my. haha. of course i was in deep shit. and i was expecting it. blea-. and here the really scarry thought. on my way home form the train i thoguth of the best excuses to use. so i thoguth of one perfect one. and THANK GOD i suddenly decided against telling them anythign at all. whew. they called theodore. so that was it. i kenw rigth away there was no space for any lies until i knew theodore's story. haha. and theodore called marc and taht was the story. the naked truth. haha. the irnoy of it all. that being the topic for marc's impromputu speech. truth. So my parents found out abou me goign to ymca for the pesa and that was just bad. haha. at least they dont know bout the Plaza sing part. haha. but whatever, goign to ymca was bad enough for my parents. so sigh. that was bad..... and im still phoneless.....




hello sweet sunshine. waita minute. why is there sunshine at 5.30. ah'. its not five thirty. that makes sense. its not five thirty... Its not five thirty..... HO SHIT ITS NOT FIVE THIRTY! haha. so i was late today. and to top it off kyle didnt go to school today. well thanks much to peter i got to school.... still late, but not as late as i would have been otherwise. so yay. i was late for the first time for this year. with the exception of thaipussam well.... even that i still made it to school for first period. haha. i just walked calmy into school, no questions asked. haha.says alot about our security doesnt it. hahaha. well what do i see on my arrival in school. the Sec Threes were a mess. bloody hell. you woudl think by now they can amanage themselves. and thsi whoel term they were dam good i swear! why today! accorind to them it was because it was friday. haha. loved that answer. well that cheered me up. just goes to show your never too old to learn. school was good i guess. during tamil class i wanted to finish the lyrics of the song i was working on but had crap to do. bleah. im gonna have to finsh it later. before 5 when the msn crowd comes online and start distracting me. anyways today during duty theodore, arthur and myself went to do the toilet smoking duty. haha. was the first time me and theodore was there. haha. was really funny. we were negotiating witha smokers how much they were allowed in the toilet, and we made them go in shifts. that was duty for you. sigh.
today during english mrs elslie tested my english speaking and she said i got my band one, and i had to keep working on it. no problems for me. wup tee doo. after bio, i told miss chern the highlighter joke. which i swear id DAAAAM lame. i was forced to do so by wei ket and si chung of course. there were afew more jokes which are euqally lame. like the batman returns and batman forever joke. and the swey tree joke. DAM lame. my eyes roll 360 everytime i hear it. haha. and then to force me to say it. wow. sigh. the pain of being a good joke teller. haha. as if. hmmm. speaking of eyes rolling, chris is one guy who looks dam funny when his eyes roll. kay out of point.



school ended with me having lunch in shcool for the first time (as in proper food instead of just bites) with nicholas gn, jeremy and laurel. nichoals came up with a theory how a pregnat women were a 'they' as they were two life forms and jeremy argues bakc how veryone was a 'they' because we are all made of individual living cells with their own life. so for ten minutes we were calling each other 'they', 'us' and 'we'. dam lame. we stopped really soon. haha. paul jon and jeremy then helped me with add maths before teh chinese boys had to go for their oral exams. then helped marc out with the prefecst room. felt good. hahaha. it was after i talked to marc i started feeling scarred. so basically we were talking about life recetnly. cca. golf, and how golf was such a solitary cca, and about how this yera he feels good abotu doing more school based activities and this gave him a chance to meet more friends. and about cca and he started talking about my own ccas and i dunno. it just made me think. think real hard.



what if. what if i had been like what marc had been in sec 1 and 2. alot of aquaintences but unsure of any true good friends. what if i had dedicated my life to scouts totallya nd worked towards the PSA. what if i didnt give that up. what if i didnt give up the NYAA silver. i cans till work for it now. its so possible because i jave it all done already, excpet for one or two more tasks. its just there. i can choose to grab it. but i chose not to. because i suddenly got this image of me. being all alone. doing work all alone. not on msn. not on the phone. not with my firends. not watching tv. but whole hearted deciated work. and i got scarred. because it would mean i would never have met the friends i did meet. i can never dedicate to one. tahst another one of my weaknesses. sigh. but thats what im working towards. but now im thinking again. marc surely has alot of friends right now. but what friends did i gain in sec1 and 2. hmmmm. i have no idea. what true friends do i have to speak of. hmmm. alot actually. ahha. i dunno. maybe im just looking for a reason to be depressed. i write better when i am. haha. bleah. whatan anti climax.




so here i am. tomorrow is bryan C's speech. would love to go. got piano class though. haha. and not forgetting homecoming dinner. oh goody. need to bring two pairs of uniform. one as a prefect and one as a civillian. yay.




only one by yellowcard is a depressing song. sigh. im gonna listen to 'devila t the bottom of the wishing well' now.




16th july is exco interview. marc cant make it. sighs. oh well.