tahst right. i cant be botehred anymore. about changign the world. abotu making a difference. or at least in the sense that nicholas thinks in. because the world is alreadys o screwed as it is. and there is nothing we can do about it. dam US of A... it sickening. how theyc an just reject the kyotom summit. how can they spend a few billions on wars around their country, and destroy peace in the middle east, and then contibute a few million dollars to the millions of lives lost in tsunami. its sickening, that CNN continues to propagate pro-american sentiments, and continues to be so dam nationalistic, tot he point of puking. its sadening that a whole areas and cities can be destroyed by nature. hundred and thousands of lives lost just like that. that in 50 years time, all our fossil fuels are gone. that we are still too stubborn to change our choice of resources. that the european constituiton is blocked by ONCE again nationalistic sentiments and ego. that international crime and terrorism still persists. and god... what have we done to this earth. what are we doing to it.. this is a hell of our own making. which is why, i have decided to stop thinking. to stop caring... at least the political sense. i rishik menon, am politically apathetic. i will not care. no more... no more....
but i will still care. in a different sense of course. about my friends. about my life. and about life in general. yeahs. cause thats what its all about. life. the colour. the emotions. the moments. and yeah, i wont know what to do if not for that. thats what makes life what is it. and thats what im gonna live for. my friends. and my family. my feelings. yay. haha. so i talked to ivan last night. about ego. and how egos are sucky. and some people have them. and it was fun talking. its eems thats all i like talkign about these days. psycho analysing people, life and emotions. cause its all around us. and its fun to do that. haha. yeahs. sigh. but it cant be teh oly thing in life either too. its even sadder. to keep analysing. keep guessing. keep anticipating. and prepping up for the future. i mean, sometimes we just have to live. and love all the surprises in life. as zenn and dora both say. so yeah... life. i think thats just how im gonna live. live for the moment now.
heavens not a place that you go when you die after all. its that moment in life when you finally feel alive. and thats just how i plan to forget teh hell i live in, and make it a heaven. and one thing that really helps me is the arts. sigh. drama, music and literature are all that push me on. that give that little spice. that thing that helps me appreciate the moment even more. sigh. life rocks... no im not down anymore. well i am. but i am loving it. lovign the feeling of being down. cause that just makes me feel more human than ever. if that made sense. sighs. haha. i love writing.
ivan says i did well for my english. not sure how he knows yet of course. haha. but yeah, its comforting. sigh. VJC, CJC, MJC, whatever. where i go isnt important. not really. its the people i hang out with i mean. friendships or sooo not bounded by school. and i mean. i can do well in my A levels regardless, right? so whatever. haha. but thats not an excuse to slack during prelims. hha. i mean i still want to do well. im just not so hard up or die-die about getting to VJ. yeah. illt ake life in its stride. sigh.
the rain rocks, so much. its really nice. and soon ill be going to help my mom and sis with lunch. haha. how fun. and maybe ill study later. sigh. how fun. tot hink ina weeks time, ill be in the midst of my prelims. =)
good night ya'll.
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