the prefects are going down the drain. fuck man. Fuck. with a capital F. its dam frustrating for me. especially for people like theodore and me. Frustration! Gah! also a capital F. god...
To me, it has always been about image. Everyhting is about image. people who Know me, know that. Image is important to me. To me that justified the whole existence of the board. the board was there to protect the image of the school. save it. the only dam reason why we try and stop smokers is cause they damage the school image. the only fucking reason why i ask people to tuck in their dam shirts to for my dam school's image. eveyrthing i do as a prefect. everything for the fuckng sake of my school's image. cause i dont want it to go down. at any cost.
and god to see this sad shitty state of affairs. the sec threes were never the bumper crop. one of the worst batches ever. there is no doubt about that. i still remember 2004 Prefect camp. Sec 2 Turnout: ONE. 2004 PLTC. Sec 2 Turnout: TWO. 2005 LLTC. Sec 3 Turnout: THREE. wtf. but you know what. i wont judge leadership based on camp turnout. ill base it on attitude. which brings me to my title. Fucked. latecoming. during recess, wrong duty posts. How the fuck can you be at the wrong fucking duty post! late for duties early for recess. and plainly said, no leadership. No initiative. Nothing. just emptiness. pure emptyness. I remember tellign that to zico when i explained to him why he was chosen for EXCO. "Zico. your dam lucky to be in exco. cause when i look at you. i see... nothing"and you know what. when i look at the entire sec three batch i see one thing. "michael da silva". and its so dam sickening how an entire batch can be characterised by a single mind set. as ivan said. our batch had marc oliver. had rishik menon. had ben ow. had theodore khng. hell everyone was unique and had their own skill and persnality that benefitted the board. but their batch is so. single minded.
marc has given up. theodore is frustrated to the point of pulling his hairs out but he too is giving up. im just sad. that we worked so hard to do soemthing and now the board is collapsing. and even sadder that this was the batch assigned to me. i was supposed to take care of them. i was supposed to build them up as a team. and i failed. sigh. disunited losers. i give up. after tomorrow. After tomorrow. I will return for ONE last morning assembly. I will..
sigh. had breakfast at macs with nicholas, jeremy and laurel. went for chem parct. went to study. went for lunch with nicholas. came back to study. walked around the school with joshua fer awhile and wow. and sky was BeaUtiful. sigh. anyways went to serangoon road. deepavali shopping thing. i bought this cool green shirt. ahha. DAM cool. its nepalese i think. haha. and i bought this book too. Teachings of Swami Vivekananda. his writings really inspire me. I remember once as a young 11 year old reading a line from his book. It was about bravery. and i swear. After reading that i could feel the bravery and courage and righteousness build up in me. and it lasted. It lasted for a VERY long time. all from ONE line. wow.
I have decided at all cost to learn the intro for "my heart will go on" haha. its soo nice. ah well..
tomorrow studyin with ben ow at NLB. see how it goes. physics. cant lose out. wesley invited me to sleepover./study marathon at his house with sam and josh. kinda like what i did at josh's house with sam. only we didnt study that much. ahhaha. oh well. maybe next time.
speaking of josh. his birthday is coming soon. 30th october. incidentally thats also nicole mao's birthday. and no she isnt related to benjamin mao, as i had earlier suspected. haha. crap.
i thik mid night conversations are the most meaningful. anyways i gotta sleep now. i got a bad cold by the way. and i refuse to drnik coffee. not good. especially after what happened to me last night. OMG.... coffee is bad. never again. haha. bryan cheang was funny today.
"I had a little trouble sleeping last night"*Insert Trademark Bryan cheang smile Here*. haha. sigh priceless. haha. omg. was dam funny. especially when you think of in contrast to yesterday afternoon . "I dont feel a thing" *Insert Trademark Bryan cheang smile Here*.
oh yeah i think i totally missed out yesterday. haha. too bad. it was day of studying in the heritage room witth jeremy. a day of lots of coffee. a day of lots of chair banging adventures and blah blah blah. yeah. good night. no more coffee for rishik.
geetha is lame.
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