soo... its day two of me common tests. and life's just sailing along like it does. and wow. i need to watch TV more...
Still standing. grounded for life. spongebob squarepants. fairly odd parents. the comedies that make me smile and make me feel at home.. wheeee...
u2's the sweetest thing.
M2m girl (raven something)'s the end of me.
two petty nice songs i havent heard ina while. and wow. the years just pass by you dont they. faster. and faster.
and things ARE going pretty fast. not that id say its my fault. ahah. i blame the bad bus timings and rain for everything thats been happening.
sigh. australia italy match. some things just dont get anymore heartbreaking can it... dammit la. its always the underdogs who lose. those who try so hard, and finally manage to come up, only to be undone by chance and fate. siigh.
and while im in this mood, might as well mention, the most melodramatic and addictive reality show ive ever fallen in love with "the contendor" is returning to AXN. 20th july. ooh yeah. its gonna be good. i can tell... its gonna be soo good.
and man... today on my way home. i dunno why i felt kinda shitty. thinking about how dumb you can feel the whole day. and why i even bother talking to people sometimes. and it was a pretty sad feeling. and i cant quite explaint he sudden wave of angst that took hold of me. but all i know is, that when i reached my house and my dad and sis were leaving and brought me along to eat at long john silver, everythign vanished. sweet, sweet, blood. you know that when it comes to 'understanding', its REALLY them. and i dont mean understanding, talking udnerstanding. but that silent, unsaid kinda aura they give you.
so hear i am. 425. peeps in school still doing their GP paper i think. should be meeting arthi and nadiah at the airport later to study. dunno why i said yes though. ahah. we take like zero similiar subjects! ah hell. why not.
yesterday's paper was fine. lit... i think it was. went to study with kenneth after lit at the expo. haha. the weird conversations we always have, brightens up my day.
"rich...blind...chio... and fat... WAIT DID I SAY FAT!??"
"the birds are watching man..."
"watch my words man.. girls are trouble.. first the handphone bills.."
haha. speaking of handphone bills, mines gonna go through the roof this month. sigh. i dont even wanna think about it. its saddening. and dissapointing. but hell... it might be worth it... i just hope...
worth it. is it worth can you even hear me?
my handphone sucks. just today during lunch my handphone sent me an alert that i had a missed call last night at 930. stoopid handphone. you make me look bad.
and im running out of cash too. no more cash for guitar (spent on food for the last week of the hols), probably wont be getting cash for a handphone (based on me bill), and i gotta save up cash for tpjc's panorama. damit. ah hell. some things we do... for our friends... somethings we dont.
like going tomorrow to meet the ol clique at PESA. we ARE the pesa gang after all. the friday night crew. the clique. thats where we met, that what brought us together. that where we became who we are. but i dunno... its my JCTs on the line here. what do i choose.
cliques... its true you know. that as much as you love some people you just cant bring yourself to clique with them. its sad ina way. but its fine too. i mean that way you get to get closer to some others. my only week of studying (last week) was spent essentially with lizzy and soefie(weekdays) and radhika(weekend). sigh. limitations of male study parters. well there IS kyle. but timings the issue, if yer know what i mean.
kyle... hmm... met peter yesterday on the bus home. was so good talking to him. i mean GOOD. i mean, woah. his english is just THERE, man. and it really brought back the memories of st pats, and how everyone else's english was. and he brought up this pretty valid point which i never thought about before.
Now see, in my arguement, of WHY i didnt go CJC (as any normal patrician would), one reason usually is, Transport/distance.
"but, like, doesnt kyle's mom drop him there everymorning? cant you just go with him?"
"uhmm... i gues.. but... uhm... dammit!... why didnt i think of that!"
haha. so sad. ah well... it is sad. just like how the only chicks who dig the whole "soccer national status" thing are minahs. haha. we both have out own fallings in life. but we cope. hahaha.
so yesterday after knneth i decided to go back to meet soef and lizzy (cause i kinda abandoned her) , only to find out they had left. so i went to queensway to pick up the jersies. was freaking tired by the time i got back. fell asleep until, the bus at pasir ris started heading back to tampines.
and wow. talk about grateful man. three of my HC members pretty pissed about the size they got. is it my fault? it wasnt me! it was the guy i asked when i placed the order. i think it was david. i dunno. but asked people dammit. ah heck.. whatever. its just house com. not like my hearts there or anything...
not like my hearts anywhere at the moment. not debates. not school. not home. not council...
just plain seperated. seperated from my surounding, my body, my nose... which happns to be gaining a life of its own, but thats another story.
so as i was saying; seperated. in fact monday morning, i literally just stoned on the couch in the SC room for an hour straight. i REALLY mean stoning this time. like ive never stoned before. just sat there. not talking to anyone. not moving. not doing anything. just sitting there. staring straight ahead into the lockers and letting my thoughts wonder.
wonder, wonder... always wondering away. or is it spelled wander. hmmm. neah. that just looks plain weird. 'wonder' it shall be.
so anyways. for abandoning lizzy yesterday, i decided to make it up by staying with her to study at the library and all. didnt make much of a differenece or impact i guess, seeing as how von was already there. haha. dam. so much for trying to show her, im nice. ahha. whatever.
my efforts to be nice go un noticed at times. hmmms... efforts i make. like taking out my ear stick. potentially closing it. not sure if people will notice, or if it will mean much to those who do... but ill do it. haha.
tamil paper tomorrow. i dont want to fail. but i doubt i can hope for much else. bless my poor soul.
ah well. its bout time i get back to work. gotta limit my breaks. dont wanna get carried away of anything.
"to be yourself in a world constantly trying to make you someone else, is the greatest acomplishment of all".
Ill be strong. dam right.
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