tired

bleaaah... so dam tired...


interesting how days turn out, opporunities are created, choices made, paths fork, performances are played, and life gets reflected over dinner at an obscure coffeeshop in pasir ris.


"how poetically vague"

anyways basically today was a tiring shit ass day. somehow getting roped in to play bass for MCS band. and it started with a simple pick. haha. so i was juggling rehearsal( which turned out to be 2 hours in the end), guiding (stupid unfriendly sec 4s), talkin, skating...it felt realy 'bla' after awhile exactly who and what i was supposed to be helping. drama, debates, mcs, ics, sc, hc....


really got to my head. everything so muddled and messed up. so i went to skate to give myself some freedom to think. sigh. skating on the track. wtf was i thinking. but nvm about that, the point is, it really cleared my thinking a little. sigh. nice to sit on the grass. and not think..


"you lack intellectual discipline."
(eyes widen) "I ... lack intellectual discipline??"
"its not your not intelligent. its you lack intellectual discipline. rigour in your answer. rigour and discipline when you analyse... its not too late. it can be developed..."
"it... what.... okay..."


haha. sounded like i had a disease man, the way it happened. haha.
sigh. i dont wanna be a dissapointment... i really dont... especially in english: cause thats all ive got to hold on to. sucks being so painfully monolingual. sucks stuttering on sentences and eating up words.


on a side note, i realise with the tagboard down, ive become really uninspired to write... blog. whatever...


http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

this site is so cool... im serious. almost as touching as time travellors wife.


hmmm. i wanna get pics of my performance. i think ash has some... siigh.
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ive always made it a general rule to
1)avoid fallin for someone who isnt likely gonna fall fer you in return.
2)never get into a relationship based on the 'why not' factor.
3)never confide anything to anyone until im sure of how im feeling myself.


bull man. if only i followed it.
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get a guitar tomorrow. maan...


Saw arthur at today's openhouse. was good to talk to him. really been long. haha. ill never forget those guys. my 4E1 classmates. siigh. good friends they were.... sigh. gotta have a get together soon... soon...


" i think i realised bout rishik's friends from st pats is that they all speak with an accent."
haha. thats not totally true. but strangely it swells me a little bit with some sorta strange misplaced pride.



kay i really should go sleep. ive hit a stage where im just yabbering pointlessly now. and i think tomorrow, besides an accoustic, i wanna buy band shirts, lemony snicket's "the end" and chocolate milk... mmmmm.


night.