the last thing i want to be is addicted to something. coffee, MSN, blogging. the thought of dependency scares me. so much so, that i intentionally abstain from things im afraid of getting addicted to. just so i know im still in control. for the comfort of mind, that i really CAN do whatever I set my mind to. that its more than just a cheesy motivational line of a laminatted piece of paper, but maybe, truly does contain a kind of truth within.
addiction. gotta draw a line between that and passion.
every now and then i get these bursts of passion.
i get them alot. like these sudden energy, and disatisfaction with my position. these desires to go skating. to go the park. to run. to go hug someone. to fly. to write. to donate alot money. this build up of passion. built in a moment, and dissipated the next.
and oh, how im all for it.
one of the most comforting sights is seeing, the burliest of grumpy old men break into smile at the smile of a small girl. the beauty of innocence, and how it crosses barriers of most man-made construction, and creates bonds and melts walls. all in split seconds. these innocent laugh and smiles of children. sigh. innocence.
so today was lit day. went to NLB with amitha, and met grace, gita and fenny there. rethought my H3 thingy. gonna still look at innocence lost, except this time, as a representation of society's loss of morales and ideologies, in 20th century america. mmms. hope itll work.
thing is, it means i got to go read catcher in the rye. haha. read the first chapter a while back. still remember finding it hilarious. especially the part where he goes "the whole team was ostracizing me. was kinda funny actually." HAHHA!. whoo. think im gonna like it.
the NLB is such a great place by the way.
so went to starbucks after which to read handmaids tale. nice book.
i swear.. handmaids tale is what i call emo-core. haha. take any paragraph and you could so easily read it as a song. haha. seriously. something bout it. how every line has such meaning. i swear. reads like a really good blog. ahha. reflective, insightful and deep all at once. but then, i havent really finished reading it. haha. so i cant say much as of yet. should finish it by monday. or tomorrow even. ah well.
had lunch with rannald and amitha at swensens. hahaa. cant get over rannalds pronoun joke. ahhaha. i dunno. was good. hahaha.
had lunch at swensens. dammit man. spending too much unnecessarily.
i got alot of compulsions lately. irresponsible desires and fancies. sucks to the core. like i want to buy a starbucks tumbler and a nike arm wallet really badly. and i want to go cycling in ubin again. and have a class party at my new place. and go watch pan's labrinyth.
sigh. just got to moderate these desires i guess. and keep focused on more important things ahead.
like MUSE!! whoo! three more days!! haha. but as excited as i am, still feelin shagged. hope my energy returns by then. hope that oh-so-random passion of mine strikes.
haha. such a sick mix of pessimistic realism and irrational, optimism and faith. i dont make this easy for myself at all. haha. sigh.
g'night. and out this window ill flow.
No comments:
Post a Comment