God. what is my freaking problem. I seriously got mood swing problem. I left camp feelign dam pissed. I dunno why. haha. i dunno why! god i hate scouts. screw the PSA. nyaa is enough for me. Emala talked to me in camp. he said i was selfish. made me think. not that i hadnt already thought enough. but, its true the scouts troop wont help me get my PSA if id otn intend to help them. thus i wont get help form them. thus iw ont get my PSA. who knows i mgiht not even become a venture. tahtw oudl really suck, cause i already went for FDI, SIC, Crime prevention, VLC, and all that crap. if id ont egt at least VSS, id be dam pissed. forget about me EVER coming back. dam them lah.
I got me Os this year. and i got other freidns. my life is not on scouts. get that right first. now screw off. stop taking my life. knn. I dont owe scouts anything. nothing. id be teh same person without scouts. i owe all my formation as a person to everything else. kay tahst pretty unfair but i make my stand. i owe nothign to scouts. if i want to help id help on my own free will. dont push it. i wont be subjected to any guilt or shit.
VJC. i have hope. if i use cricket perhaps. id try. haha. yes. i am rishik. the rat. the traitor. call me what you may. i cant be bothered. too strong to be affected by what ever you say.
she seems so great. but i hardly know her. cant explain it. and i harldy message or chat with her. and i end up thinking of her. but its not an unhealthy obssesion. its the type of thinking that makes me want to do well in studies. want to do well in CCA. want to improve my slef, improve my literature, my knowledge, become a better person. and thats never a bad thing.
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