the short history of writing

Its come to my attention, that I no longer feel a need to write poems.
And its not a bad thing at all. No..

Its very easy to understand, once you know my personal history
and how i even got started with writing.

Itall has to do with st pats.
Beause the sad truth is, as english-speaking as the place may be
my entire time there, I had almost zero creative outlet.

When people asked what cca i wanted to join, i said without
thinking, ELDDS. Young stupid 13 year old. No idea that there
was NO ELDDS at that time!! I was heartbroken.
But not to fear. There was still lit at that time

Lower sec, I lapped up all there was to learn about literature.
It wasnt a science of disecting language. To me it was just one thing,
plain and simple.
A chance to enter another world: one of culture and poise, and education.
A chance to appreciate writing, and be caught up in the moment.

Lo and Behold. St pats did me another great favour by
NOT offering lit to upper sec. to ANY CLASS.

Zit. No Class. Science. Arts. It was.. a loss cause.
I would never get to know lit again. So off I went to sec 3e1
and that was more or less when it really started.

The secret writing, the scribbles, the only outlet and form of
expression i vaguely had.
It was weak in every sense. structure, vocab, meaning.

But it was what i clung to. It was my escape. Its all I had between
prefect meetings, and scouts, and lessons.
It was pathetic, but it was reason enough to keep my faith in the arts.
The fact that it made me that much happier.
That it gave me that much more faith in myself to achieve the vision
that Mrs Nelly Leslie set for us at the start of 2005
"To Become Cultured Young Men of Poise, Pride and Passion".
It became a part of me.


To cut the long story short.. Things changed.
Not drastically. Not overnight.
But over time they did.

I was exposed to real literature, in every form in JC:
movies, music, novels, poems. Real art.
I truly understand beauty.
My dream came true (and I fucking swear, this had been my
DREAM in the most literal sense, since I was a kid)
to actually act in a production.
And yeaah. I got what i wanted.
I got to appreciate beauty. taste it feel it love it live it.
I got the experience I had been deprived the bulk of my teenage life.


and now im happy. Satisfied. I dont have to write anymore
to feel the same joy. I am actuallyt truly content that
now I know good writers and artists out there.

and thats all I really wanted in the end.



---
Another random thought


clubbing attire geared for moshing rather than dancing?
You know where your heart really lies.

..
Im off.