I wrote this is November 2011. Didnt get a chance to finish it or publish it in time. but my feelings have since changed, and less I publish it soon, itll forever be forgotten. so why not immortalise cette state of mind while I can?
----
listening to yeasayer and the naked and famous.
i shouldnt be too nostalgic about australia. its not my home. not today.
2am. meant to have submitted an article 2 hours ago. not too late. no, never. get on it.
--
some dreams involve travelling, seeing the world,
love, lust, hands around a girl,
or a boy, on your back, laughing, screaming, his two feet dangling over your shoulders
im just imagining all the memories I might be making for him, and how someday in the future
he will find sounds, syllables to articulate an experience which pre-dates this capacity for speech
and his accent
his accent might be foreign, to my ears, and the nation where said memories might have taken place.
--
as our plans turn into compromise
the promises all turn to lies
the spite builds up and cant get through
passive me, aggressive you
---
some dreams are tangible, 2-dimensional, objectifiable
graspingly simple, outcomes, end-products,
like titles, awards,
...
there will come a time in the not too distant future
I shall finally be working, and earning.
but im still so obsessed with certain ideas.
like holidays with friends. and working overseas with friends. or writing stories. and filming projects. and living together, reading, discussing movies, art, having a drink at clark quay, at city hall, attending book launches, and academic talks, taking drives to the beach to the airport, to watch the ships harbour, the planes land, the lights turn on in a city that probably doesnt sleep, but stays awake all night in bed, anxiously, bursting to start the next day, to not get left behind.
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